Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[t33]

t33,

Sorry to hear you are going though this. It is nice that you have someone telling you what is going through her mind right now. My wife has been confiding in friends and I hear 3rd hand that she is 100% ready for the divorce. That is all they say. I wish I could hear the crap she is really saying to them. I am sure most of it is lies to get validation from them. I don't even talk to those friends anymore. They could care less about my side of the story. It is like the EA does not matter to them. They think it is my fault, that I pushed her to it.

Thanks WhyUs. Ya, it's crazy. It doesn't make any sense - which is to be expected. From what I hear, sometimes she's resigned to that fact, other times she sounds conflicted and confused. Everyone "seems" to be on my side and the family's side - but they try to stay neutral for her to not push her away. Nobody to this point (that I know of) thinks it's my fault or I pushed her there. I'm sure there is a friend or two that is feeding that to her, but nothing I can do. Most everyone is just shocked at how much she's changes over the past few months.

Of course, just like the book says, she just pushes those people out of her life.

Exactly. So it's good people are staying neutral for her. Still, how does she figure it out? She told her friend I was smothering her. I felt I've backed off tremendously except for this weekend when she initiated the contact and us spending the time together. Her friend asked if she wanted me to start staying long hours at work again. She said no. She asked what she did want. Of course her answer was she didn't know.

I guess all I can hope for is things will change in time. I just hope she doesn't suck our finances dry while figuring it out.