Just go in remembering that whatever she says, when you let it sit afterwards it may not be as good or bad as it struck you on first hearing it. I know that sometime my W will be really disrespectful, full of revisionist history, and hurt that she will lash out (see my meeting with her yesterday in my thread for an example). Felt crappy, initial reaction was, Oh sh*t, this is not where I was hoping things would go, she's made up her mind and isn't going to change it ever, yada, yada, yada.
After meeting, start processing the feelings. Realize, yes she is still really angry and wants to be heard and listened to. Wants to be acknowledged and respected. Damn, you did exactly that. Great job. This was something that needed to be done. It showed her exactly that I wasn't that old as_it_is that she is so angry. Came back the next morning with the "I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday, and ..." which built on that and really showed. Do I think that she will now start really reconsidering the sitch? Do I think we have it all out and she'll now be ready to move to stage 2? No.
Did what looked like a set-back really turn out to be one? No.
So, go in there knowing that you won't know in the moment whether what is going on is good or bad. Pay attention to your feelings, but don't let yourself get too reactive. Think, is what she is saying good or bac? "I don't know." OK, validate, ask questions, don't be bashful about feeling your own anger, as long as you keep it in I statements. Look at her and listen to her with curiosity. Give her your full attention without trying to think about what you are going to say.
You'll be stressed, but you can manage it with that I won't know how things are going until afterwards, if then, so no big deal.
Breathe. You're doing good work.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
