Thanks whyus and Bob! I would not say things have been tough lately. Just a struggle today. Never easy dealing with stbx.
I think alot of us wonder about finding someone else one day. After all, we all came here to save our marriages because we thought we had found the person to be with the rest of our lives. Unfortunately something changed and that person is not the person we thought they were. To be honest, I am not worried about finding someone right now. I would have a hard time trusting at the moment. I know it will change with time. But I am not going to lie, I would not mind finding a woman that was wanting a friend with benefits!!! LOL!!! It has been awhile!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
You are in no shape to date at this stage. You are still emotionally tied to STBX. Embrace your "aloneness" and get comfortable with that state of mind. When I felt lonely, I itched to reach out and date. I knew it was for the wrong reasons so I fought to stay off the slippery slope.
I am glad for the choices I've made. Once I arrived at a stage where I was "perfectly" fine with being alone, it was when I started to date again. I dated from a position of "yeah, let's explore" instead of "ugh, I am so lonely...I am so needy." See?
You will find a healthy woman in time. Trust the process.
You are in no shape to date at this stage. You are still emotionally tied to STBX. Embrace your "aloneness" and get comfortable with that state of mind. When I felt lonely, I itched to reach out and date. I knew it was for the wrong reasons so I fought to stay off the slippery slope.
I am glad for the choices I've made. Once I arrived at a stage where I was "perfectly" fine with being alone, it was when I started to date again. I dated from a position of "yeah, let's explore" instead of "ugh, I am so lonely...I am so needy." See?
You will find a healthy woman in time. Trust the process.
So true! I am a living proof of this.
I am in total agreement with you Wonka! I don't want to date because my kids are my focus right now. It is hard enough for them dealing with the separation. Than you throw some stranger in the mix!! Not good for them. I want them to know that it is just me and them at our house and that they are my number 1 priority. Stbx already said she was bringing a friend with her to pick up the kids. I told her if she shows up with some guy, they are not going with her. They don't need that kind of stuff to deal with. She claims it is not a guy. I could care less. The kids have not seen her since Memorial Day. They don't need to travel 1-1/2 days with a stranger. D12 would freak out if some other guy was with her. Stbx is a dang looney!!!
Today, I am working on detaching again. I let STBX get inside my head too much yesterday! I am disappointed in myself for allowing that. I am also allowing my fears to take over. Today I am focused on getting back on track!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I was too busy posting on others threads this morning, I forgot to post on mine. Today has started off good. Been real busy which will help my end of the year bonus. I am waiting to hear from STBX about when she is picking up the kids. I am not going to lie, part of me hopes she just cancels taking them this year. But I think they want to see her and the grandparents. Can't help the fact that I can be a tad selfish with my kids. It will be a tough 4 weeks for me without them. I think I will live at the golf course till they come back!! LOL!! Anything to make the time go faster.
Oh by the way Lady V, still can't get that image out of my head!!! LOL!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
WOW!!! I was just reading through some of my first posts. Man I have come a long ways since I started here. It was very interesting reading.
Amen Brother! You most certainly have.
Keep moving forward, my friend. You have this!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
