Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[t33]

Just some questions from me concerning your 3rd hand intel .... does it go both ways, is this person reporting back to W .. if so .. be VERY careful what you ask and more so what you share .... look at it from above, it looks like a needy husband looking for reassurance his W still wants him = NOT ATTRACTIVE

Totally agree. He's in a tricky spot being both our friend, and I am concerned that he doesn't overshare my side. He said he doesn't, but of course it's tough territory and I have to be care.

she has you right where she wants you, and if OM would wake up and love her like she thinks he does ... where would she be>?
Even though OM might be out of the picture .. your W is not just going to mourn the loss, get over it and 'pull you back into reconnecting' .... not the way you are approaching this.

Yep, again I understand and agree. So hard to deal with this. I did see her phone this morning and she did text him on Monday, after our great weekend. Not much conversation, but the gist was,

W: Do you want me to continue texting you?
OM: I don't mind.
W: Have you missed us?

More innocuous texting, but no response to the question. So, A detox back to Day 1 (for now).

Again ... Detach, GAL, PMA

Hard, but yes.

Homework:

5 things you like about yourself

5 Things you don't

I took a while to respond because I wanted to think about the answers and it's difficult to come up with 5 of each. Here goes for now:

5 things you like about yourself

• I'm in a good career position and increasingly successful with good opportunities ahead
• I am a great father and my kids love me
• I like exploring new things and enjoy new foods and experiences
• My family is financially comfortable
• People look up to me and enjoy my company

5 Things you don't

• I work so many hours I'm not always around for my family
• I don't have many friends
• Other than work I don't really have any hobbies (or desire for any)
• I'm not as confident as people think I am
• My focus at work is not there and my performance is suffering

--
As for last night, she went out to dinner with an old friend and had a really good time. She came back in a good mood. I worked late, came home, did my exercise, showered, and then put on some music and started cleaning up one of the girls' rooms. She came home and we chatted about her dinner a bit and more or less went to bed.

The friend she went to dinner with called me today. Told me that she opened up about not loving me and that she was set on getting a divorce, etc. Basically told me that she was taking me for a ride and sucking as much money as she could along the way. When her friend asked if she'd contacted a divorce lawyer yet, she said she was just taking it day by day. I guess that means she's not out yet. I'm sure it's still her wrapped into the EA, and rewriting history, but very troubling and demoralizing.