Falling Pianos: Wayward Wife & LRT (8)

[asitis]

On the dating question, ask yourself if you feel you are ready to have a real relationship if the other person goes and falls for you? What if your W asks to reconcile, what would you do with this OP?

On your above question about whether or not you can love this new woman your W has become, that's probably a good place to be. It is detached, it is not take her back at any cost. The point is you will have to decide to give it a try, and then you'll both have to spend time learning who the other really is. Then you decide.

Is she who she is now or who she was then? A little from column A, a little from column B, with a bit of column C (she doesn't & you don't know yet who she is growing into). She changed abruptly. Don't get too locked into pegging her as the way she is now is the way she will always be (if you look back at yourself, I suspect you'll recognize how you have changed and will be a different person in a future relationship without all of the emotional stress of the current sitch). Trying to fix someone in time is a big part of our problems. We start reacting to the people we think they are, rather than seeing who they are, what they need, and what they are afraid of in this current moment, and then our reactions get us into trouble. Both parties do this, and it is somewhat inevitable, but the less you can do it the better you'll be at Rs, whether w/ your W or someone else.