Aren't you in Hawaii? I'm literally green with envy. I know it is difficult (my first trip away was challenging and triggered many memories), however, please remember your kids are only this age once. Vacay with mahalo!
Have fun and try to relax. Like Cali said...a lot can happen in a year.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 07/08/1502:52 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Yeah - a lot to do for this vacation - kids having a blast and I am getting the opportunity to clear my head which is a good thing.
Burning question - should I have kids send w a post card - they have not asked to it just hasn't come up. Should I send photos of kids to her? Of course I want to but would that be considered pursuit? I feel like it would be pursuit but .... Maybe I should take high road?
W has told me she is working but I know she took the week off - most likely to spend time with AP. So another lie.
So - continue with all quiet on Western Front? Kids did talk to her last night and face timed her. I initiated the call. She talked briefly to my brother as my d6 was with him when she face timed.
Post photos to facebook, if W & family are on it. She sees, you aren't pursuing. When I was on vacation, I had a summer vacation 2015 album, and then an summer vacation 2015 - extras for family album. W was included in both, but I was not just peppering her with pictures. She liked them all - even the ones that made it fairly clear that it was just me with the boys. Seemed a bit strange to me, but she thanked me.
If there is one that is something only she would really get and enjoy, them sure, that's your insider conspiratorial connection around your love of your kids. Otherwise, let everyone (or at least your whole family) see.
On the postcard, just get them talking about their feelings and how they're enjoying vacation? If they are thinking of their M, it will come out eventually. Then maybe ask if there is something that they would like to do re their mom? That keeps it about them, while still allowing them to keep a good connection with your W.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
I have blocked her from Facebook. It was just too painful for me to see her carry on life without me. I also could not stop myself from looking at her page thus the block. She was upset that I blocked her but it was for my emotional well being.
So no, she won't see any photos from this trip on FB.
Maybe I will send a photo via text - a good one of just the kids. As for postcards I guess I will just have to ask them if they want to send her one.
Heavy, enjoy your vacation. I know it's got to be hard. Last August, my W and I had the most wonderful vacation in her homeland of Albania. We looked at land, talked of building a summer house in the mountains just beyond the village where she grew up. Unless things turn around at some point, of course I'm assuming I'll never visit there again. I wouldn't want to, as much as I love it. So much of what I loved is that it was her.
Hugs, and hang in there.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
There is an intermediate step to blocking on FB. You can just unfollow. That way there stuff doesn't pop up on your feed. The downside is that you can still see them in your friends list including their online status. As you see this, you still see when they update their photo. This is what I did.
She can still like photos and see what I post to friends and family (I've thought of a "Not W & pals" list to post things re words of truthiness on relationships), but I don't see what she posts unless I go into my friends and click on her. Occasionally, I know she has posted a photo or two of the kids & then I go quickly in to see.
W doesn't have a clue that I'm not seeing her stuff, so nothing for her to react to. Still have blocked to go to if it seems appropriate later.
Maybe set up on one of the photo sharing sites, then do a group e-mail that you will post photos there.
Either way, enjoy your vacation. It is great to have all that time with the kids when we have been going through this.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
^^^^^ Heavy, solid advice from our dear friend Wonka.
You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. It's great to hear you are having a wonderful time -- you deserve it.
Your friend,
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
