Huge Backslide After Affair Recovery

[hopeOK]

And just when I think I can steel myself for the long haul, last night he wakes up and puts his hand on my arm. I asked him what he was doing & he said, just putting my hand on your arm, do you want me to move it? I said no. I started to let hope seep back in but remained still and calm. Then a few minutes later his phone has a weather alert, he moves his hand & then stays on his side of the bed. I try to go back to sleep, can't, & so I ask him what he is doing. He said he didn't know. Ugh. And now I am back to the tormented state because of this. Then I can't resist & go look at his fb (which I am no longer his friend) & see that he is no longer friends w/ the other woman. I get that hope back but then tamp it down telling myself she could have Unfriended him!

Ugh. I just want to have better control of my emotions & not let him affect them so much. Up or down!!