Bright, I'm so sorry you are hurting and it's okay to feel down and out. If you weren't hurt and expressing yourself, I would be worried about you. Let it out, do something physical to help you relieve the stress, anger and hurt. Don't bottle it up because it will only affect your health and your way of life.
Bea is right, your h, just like the others, is in La La Land and right now, it's all about making himself feel good. They don't have any clue as to what they are doing or their behavior affects others. Their empathy chip is broken and right now, you have to protect yourself.
As for his mail...it could have been that he didn't want to come there when you weren't home to pick it up. At least he's respecting your privacy by not doing so. Unless he has something important in the mail, I would bundle it up and send it on to him once a month.
Please try to be kind to yourself. Work through your anger and hurt and one day you will finally see the light of day, but it takes time and patience. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
