hold on! - 11

[u-turn]

Hi V.
I did not report this. I told nobody. It was never even discussed or ever brought up again by the two of us.

I was brought up thinking that I need to do anything for family - anything. and that anything would not be calling the police on them for losing their temper (for something that I did or didn't do). I felt it would be a way of not being a good friend, husband, family to alert anyone about this or anything else. So I kept it to myself. If I did not protect my W, I am not a good man. (this has been a real struggle for us/me throughout our marriage and even before we were married - often she did not trust me to go to the ends of the earth to protect her - and brings up past instances.)

I honestly don't even know if she would remember this incident or at least remember it the way I do - it may be completely gone from her memory.

When I brought up Saturday's morning's death threat on Saturday evening, she rolled her eyes, gave me the "oh please - stop over-reacting and being weak" look (I know that's mind reading, but I don't know how else to explain it).

Now - the way I have talked/written here for the last couple of days, I have only brought up very negative instances of violence and control. This is how life was all the time. It was not consistently like this. Most of the time I was really happy with our life and I believe she was too (or at least I thought she was). These outbursts may have only happened once a year or even longer (of course currently that is not the case - there have been more outbursts and broken things in the last 18 months than the prior 20 years). and this was the only incident that I can remember that became physically violent.

So I don't know if there is a pattern of this, and I have not talked as much about my roll in these incidents. (it really seems like I am just bashing on W - she would surely defend all of this)

Though, sadly, in a conversation that I had with S21 a while back about why he left home, he felt controlled and manipulated by is mother and he did not trust her (felt she stole money from him).

Sorry - long rambling answer to your question.
Thanks V