I would imagine if you were on the receiving end of those words (i.e. "you don't understand what you're doing", "you aren't going to get what you think you'll get"), you'd probably take it as a threat and a put-down.
Keep in mind that financial situations aren't a reason for you to want your wife to stick around. If you did convince her to see it your way, she might just be biding her time for opportune conditions to leave if you don't work on the real reasons she feels the need to leave.
I don't have any success in reconciling my marriage so I couldn't tell you what to do, I just know that money doesn't mean squat. If things went well between you too, she'd stand by you through a bankruptcy. Concentrate on healing, GAL and trying to express your love to her in the way she needs.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
