hold on! - 11

[CaliGuy]

Cali

It doesn't surprise me, WW is losing control as U is getting stronger and detaching.

I think it's classic behaviour for cake eating.

I agree, and have always felt once U takes control of his situation .. not hers/theirs .. but his own there would be serious movement.

I relate to his sitch a bit, especially the power struggle that goes with it. Her busting into the bathroom during the shower scene (Not the type one would want) is just more evidence she is starting to unravel and grasping in a panic for the reigns a bit on this out of control sled .. and U handled it like a champ.

I would imagine some more temp checking .. along with a Way to nice, mixed with a Way to bitchy approach from her as she attempts to find where U moved those buttons.

Rooting you on U ... you seriously have this .. .keep going.

[JellyB]

Hi U,

Thank you for stopping by my thread with your "sweet kindness"

JB XXX

PS that kind of humor always tickles me - please don't be scared of being You. I think Dr Suess's words about being You and potentially for causing offense is something like " Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"!

[Vanilla]

Can I please just ask you to explain :

I should have set my boundaries years ago. I should have ended this behaviour when she stabbed me years ago

Please, I would love an explanation.

Next time I will use nude, sounds more artistic. Like in the Calander Girls. I was more imagining naked in the vulnerable sense. And Cali there wasn't anywhere for U to hide those buttons I guess they were washed away.

V

[Joe46]

Next time I will use nude, sounds more artistic. Like in the Calander Girls. I was more imagining naked in the vulnerable sense.

V

I WASN"T!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!

[Vanilla]

Well V when you are in a hole stop digging.

Someone remind me..............

My glam sis and I went on a narrow boat trip on a canal (yes it's a UK type past time, designed to include as many watering holes as possible whilst moving very little along a waterway). I digress. We acquired a stalker also a peeping Tom and flasher. This guy followed the boat up the canal. On our last night true to form and after much wassail, this cutesy pie (not) followed us to our boat. glam sis being very under the influence stood and pointed to the guy on the opposite bank saying " look he has a pink suit on". At this point six very happy girls rocked with laughter and the flasher ran off mortified. There is no moral to this story other than don't wear a pink suit on a canal trip.

But I hope it made you smile!

V

[u-turn]

Thanks Peter - good to see you back - thanks for checking in. It has been a real long haul and I've made some decisions.

Yes she seems to be unraveling, but I am still proceeding with the D process. Don't know if you have been reading along, but it has been an eventful summer (not for the good), but I feel pretty good and strong right now.

Thanks - have a great time at the wedding this weekend.

[u-turn]

Hi WhyUs,
We also have no alimony here (indiana), so the A doesn't really change anything - possibly if pushed, there could be some leverage with if there were custody issues or arguments.

It is my understanding, from my L, this was all implemented to streamline the D process, alleviate a lot of fighting especially when custody is involved (no need for proof, investigations, arguments about who was wrong), and to make the process less costly. I guess it just doesn't matter.

Sadly it seems to be very easy to D here.

[u-turn]

Thanks Jelly - Dr. Suess - that's more my speed. I like that

Cali - thank you. I do feel good about this/myself right now. I can do this (whatever this is). She is trying extra hard to be nice - hasn't been bitchy since the blowout, but she also has been cycling through Way to mopey too (her sadness is hard for me to let go - I cannot let on that that button is still there).

Thanks for your support!!!

[u-turn]

Next time I will use nude, sounds more artistic. Like in the Calander Girls. I was more imagining naked in the vulnerable sense. And Cali there wasn't anywhere for U to hide those buttons I guess they were washed away.

V you made me laugh, no need to change, but we can go with artistic calendar girl too - (don't ruin my moment ).

Love your story too - (note to self - leave the pink suite at home when visiting the UK)

As far as my statement about boundaries, I was passive and pushed around, but didn't think it was a problem. I was controlled at times, but I put her on a pedestal. There were times of anger from her, but most of the time I felt that I had it coming or at least that I caused it. I did what I could to change her mood and make her happy. There were times when things have been broken in anger. There was an incident where things got out of hand and that should have been the time that I addressed what I would accept and what I wouldn't. In a time of her anger about 12 years ago, she stabbed me in the forearm with a fork. Dug it right in there. Her anger came from me spending too much time working - we had small children at home, she was a SAHM at the time, I was working an hour away and spending about 14 hours a day out of the house. The pressure of the kids and my work schedule built over time and it was a snapping point - she could not count on me to be home for dinner. It wasn't too long after that that I decided to quit that job and open my own business (life got much better for all of us).

So yes there have been some isolated incidences of violence, but we should have been honest and addressed this.

Thank you for being V, V

[Vanilla]

U

I worry about this. Ironically called anger flashes. Deep temper tantrums.

Did you report this to law Inforcement?

V