Yeah, somebody once said Jack has crystal balls. I think they said crystal anyway
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I realized this weekend .. just as you all have said I have to just sit and be patient. As job put it very well ... I seen a glimpse and for whatever reason want to start fixing all this ad try to move on and fix the M, its just not like that, it will take time .. alot of time, if this is what I want, so I struggle between trying to be patient ( One of my strongest suits as you all have pointed out ... ok I laughed) and being faced with the question .. can this work, is this what I want .. more importantly can I have my needs met with W 2.0 ... all unanswered questions and do I have it in me to wait years to have these answers.
For what it's worth, I do think this is a fairly normal trajectory of things for you two. I think Jack was right, you're the one that needs the patience for this to work.
This is really a good test of YOU and your ability to be different than the person who "fixed" things in the past. There's a balance to be sure, but not to go back to how it was. I see glimpses in the exchanges you post that indicate she is "testing" you or is still working on the old patterns. Either way, this is the crucible that helps you to solidify the new you even more than you have.
This really is the hardest part, Cali. To be you, to be patient, to be present and work through the hurt. But from the outside, where I am, it seems to me you need this experience. I don't know what for yet, but you do seem to need it. And I for one think you're doing quite well at it.
It would have been a lie if you hadn't reacted the way you did. You can't just sweep it under the rug and you did not make it a huge deal. That's a far cry from the previous version of you.
And she's reacting quite well to the new you.
But as mentioned, there's a long way to go before the grass is greener. She's still baking and it could take a lot longer than you hope for.
But be honest - there's a lot of progress to date. From both of you. Be grateful for the chances and the experiences and see what's next. I think you'll be glad you did
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
