Vanilla Fudged 19

[Vanilla]

Msd and ast there is much in your posts for me to think about.

Ast, I have few childhood issues so this abuse hasn't really stemmed from FOO issues and I am definitely not codependent. This is simply about being taken in by a man with compulsive issues and being naive and trusting.

That is why in my IC view I awakened very early to the abuse and started to set boundaries which escalated the abuse very quickly. DB helped me break free and identify the trauma but yes I am left with Trauma Bonding and PTSD. Of that I have no doubt at all, my doctor tells me my cortisol level is almost the highest he has ever seen.

I will get through it though, I am resilient and have survived the death of a spouse, a miscarriage, a stillbirth and an (amicable) divorce. This is another life step and I can rebuild.

I am lucky, very lucky, I am loved, I have many friends, I have a business, I have a home, a white van, a little old red convertible, my 12 steps, DB, my IC, my Gamanon and my higher power.

And I have the wisdom of the DB posters and their gentleness.

I understand Msd about small goals, my goals are grand and there will be success along the way, my performance will return in time, as will yours, this is a small set back Msd. I take great confidence from you and the work you did in those last months at your job, how you kept going and growing until the very last moment. The lessons you learned in your growth. How you plan your fins, one amazing lady.

V