I'd also add if the subject comes up, that it is super important to validate her concern. "I understand fully why you can't trust at this point. I know that trust is something that will take time. I hope you will give me that time, but I'm going to do this for myself regardless."
You might also look over the chapter on healing from infidelity. While you weren't unfaithful, seeing things from this perspective may help you. You will need to be prepared to open yourself up to scrutiny like an unfaithful spouse. Full transparency. Making sure there is nothing that would even appear as you possibly hiding anything. If she seems open to giving you that time, tell her that you will want to do this as part of the process.
If it were just substance abuse, it would be helpful, but the lying about it and covering it up are similar to the obstacles that prevent healing from infidelity. Taking a page out of that game book might help in your sitch.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
