Thanks for the quick reply as always Sandi. I value your options and knowledge alot! Im glad you seem to agree some of her actions have indeed been positive. I think MIL confronting has had much more of an effect then me. She is a huge influence in her life which is why i had gone to her.
You are right about calling her out when she is being disrepectful and i think starsky said that also. I have since done that a couple times and got a very quick response where she realized she over reacted or was mad for nothing now. No, the world didn't end either like part of me probably thought.
MC has not discussed a plan for transparency. I think MC is more of the 'forgive and forget' type. Draw a line in the sand and rebuild from here. Last meeting though he was very one sided and questioning her infront of me, where she again said she had ended it. He then asked what pushed her that way followed by why as hard as it is you cant not contact OM, and what do you do if he was to try and contact you? She said "they were friends and he wouldn't because i asked and told him how important my marriage it to me". MC came back and said if he was a friend he would have not have done pushed you knowing you were married. So what would you do, and she said tell him to back off...etc. I dont remember exactly how it went. So other then questions like that, he seems more like the now that its over, lets work on the problems between you...
I hope she is too. I am preparing myself for a backslide though as i know it happens alot. Im much more alert to things and like i said, i know things are not normal, nor are the perfect, but you seem to agree she is showing small signs of wainting to try as long as she is actually being honest. No i didn't see the message/convo she sent. She deleted him from her phone for now and all the pics/convo and emails. I have access again... if anything, i think he will try, not her and then it will be up to her if she ends stops it right then. Time will tell...
I think your right in terms of sex. I am pushing/wanting it too much right now. i am the opposite of relaxed when it comes to that because i was building it up as this huge thing now. Too answer your question, she has never had a high drive, low if anything. i want it because that is personally a way i felt connec compared to meted, if that makes since. while i want to believe its just sex and a phyical act, it think your right and im putting WAY too much pressure on it as another way of making progress on pushing our MR forward. Ofcourse now, its most likely having the complete opposite effect due to my lack of showing up to the party.... which i know is all emotional. The harder i tried the more impossible i saw it was going to be... it was very humiliating and i felt like i was failing at my basic function i always was able to fall back on no matter our issues...
