Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Turns out the horrible L letter wan't a draft, the idiot had sent it. I've told him not to do that again.
WW's L's have been in touch. Interestingly they are accusing me of not negotiating reasonably. Ok, what negotiations? Every time she's made an offer to buy me out before I get a chance to consider it properly she moves the goal posts.
Anyway, I will respond to my L with a bit of history that hopefully he can use to respond that not only am I being reasonable but also amicable.
It's S9 that's always going to be the sticking point. My L and I want him home. She of course won't allow that and considers herself to be the primary care giver. This was not the case pre BD. This point needs to be addressed.
Apart from that, yea, were moving towards D.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Shame you're nearer D than R. Usual script stuff about being unreasonable, same with the primary carer stuff. Just another way for the L's to make a bit more cash out of your misery.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Yea. The WW's L letter makes horrible reading but not as horrible as the one my L sent. It sounded really needy and pathetic. So this will not paint me in a good light with WW. Our communications have tailed off again. Back to silence.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Sorry about your L's letter. I'd insist that L runs drafts past you for approval. It will add a bit of fees, but better than the alternative.
Have you been keeping a journal on child care. Include things like taking to doctors, shopping for clothes etc., and all the other little things that are part of upkeep of a child. Work back as far as you can. Then go back through your threads looking for times you complained about your W dropping the ball or putting the burden on you w/ re to childcare. Your journalling on these forums gives you a tool for reconstructing.
If you haven't been, doing this, start ASAP, as the courts may want to see evidence that your W is misportraying the parenting division.
[censored] to have to go through this. Do you have medation in your country, and would W consider this. Get you away from Laurel and Hardy making your lives and future as co-parents less difficult and unpleasant.
Hang in there.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Yea, we have mediation here. We went 3 times but WW decided she no longer wanted to do that. In her eyes mediation broke down. Note, mediation was to facilitate the split and not to get us back together. It wasn't fast enough for her apparently not going her way so that was that.
It seems that her position is even more entrenched these days. TBH I don't see a road back. She's simply gone. I know this sounds defeatist but I'm just calling it as I see it.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Yah, it does s*ck that W won't even try mediation again or give you more access to your own children. Whackadoo!
Keep going, NDY.
Thanks Wonka
Yea, I'll keep going. Not much else for it.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Ok, quick update for you all and looking for some opinions.
Fist, the bank have agreed in principle to lend me the money. This will mean I get to keep the house should WW accept the offer. Fortunately she has already via her L indicated that this would be ok.
Second. Small burst of email activity. Mostly around S9 which is fine but apparently there has been activity between the L's which I haven't seen yet (I know I know). Anyway WW offered to send them onto me. I just said no, that's fine let the L's handle it. Thoughts? Was this the right thing to say?
Second. I really want to say to her that getting the L's involved was an unnecessary and expensive move (I don't want to appear to be arguing with her) and that IMO using mediation is the better option as it's less expensive. Please note that in this country Mediation can be used to facilitate the split and not reconciliation.
Opinions would be very welcome.
Thanks
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
