Now for another shorter post which is very embarrassing for me to write about but I guess I need to know if alone, or something else is going on. Maybe some of you, especially guys have gone through this. I know the affair messed me up, but I think it did more than I knew and its hitting me more and more, and its showing physically. I mentioned before she wasn’t intimate still (not to be expected yet perhaps as she mourns her OM loss?) and while she is more than willing to have sex now , she isn’t emotionally connecting like she used too or I need I guess. Needless to say, as we talked about the affair and OM in the consoling, I thought more about it than before. Like sandi mentioned, I was overcome with an urge to have sex since the affair (primal possibly?). Well, after being rejected, thinking about it so much and wanting it to be perfect, I worst of the worst happened, meaning…nothing. For the first time in years, I could get it up. I don’t know if I just didn’t feel the connection or what, but after a spark, it was gone and did not come back. After being humiliated and feeling like a total failure since this is all ive wanting for a week, I was forced to say I couldn’t continue and left to shower (after pleasing her). Well, what I thought couldn’t get worse then happened again the next day. She actually engaged and tried to help (which meant a ton), but still… nothing happening down there. WTF? This is terrible? I think I build it up so much and wanting to do so well her, I have mentally shocked myself or something and now I have performance anxiety. SO has this happened? Is this a stage? I am healthy, so it must be mental and the harder I try to make it happen, the worse it seems to get…
