I just drafted and deleted a whole post explaining a but more of our interactions, but I deleted it. It sounded whiny, like I was just looking for someone to say, "You're right, he is a jerk."
But I realized that I don't really need to vent. If it makes him feel good to tell me how to be a good mom, well that is HIS sh!t. I am an amazing mom. I'm glad he is around as much as he is, but his opinion of matters not.at.all.
I'm no longer trying to save my M, so I don't have to overthink and plan every interaction. I'm not going to be nasty or spiteful, I am just going to be me-- the best, most authentic me I can be-- and not worry whether he finds me attractive or not. I'm not trying to win him back. He is not worthy of me.
It's so freeing to finally feel that way. Sad, but freeing.
For a long time I couldn't even imagine getting to this point. But now that I'm here, it's feels good.
