do allow those feelings to surface in her presence.
Oh yikes! I meant to say do "not" allow your feelings to surface in her presence.
With all due respect to PigPen, if the situation is not humorous and/or if humor is not second nature for the LBH, trying to push to make her laugh could cause you to appear silly instead of being cool and confident. Especially if this is the first meeting, you may want to reconsider that route, but that's just me. It comes off as you trying too hard. See what I mean?
You just listen to what she has to say. If you agree, you nod your head.....but do not try to correct her account of things. Her purpose is to make you the fall guy. Hear me? She is NOT meeting to reconcile with you. Her version will not be the same as yours. Your job in this meeting is to listen to her spew.
It is best to meet in a public place, and at any time she should start to get out of control......you walk away.
Do not go into this meeting blind. Do not be taken off guard. She is not your best friend, and IMO, you don't want to be her BFF while she's acting out in waywardness. You can be civilized and even polite, if she minds her manners. Friendship doesn't come into the picture (on your behalf) until she stops her A and other wayward acts. Oh btw, she may say that she hopes to remain friends, or something to that effect. Most WW's say it, and even think they get to keep the LBH and get the new guy, too.
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If she brings up the past, how do I respond? For example, if she wants an answer about how I feel about what she did.
I'm going to be very blunt. She will probably not ask you how you feel about anything, especially about what's she has done. The WW is not concerned about the H's feelings. All she cares about is herself. She sees the H as the enemy. He is the reason for all her problems. He has been the roadblock to her happiness.
She may tell you what she wants out of the deal. She may say you might as well get D, and ask if you want one......but she doesn't care how you feel.
If she asks a question you aren't sure how to answer, just say something vague like, "I need more time before giving you my answer". "Frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about anything...now".
What is your purpose for this meeting? You are the one calling it. What do you wish to settle during the meeting?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
