WW/WAW Looking for advice from the pros (Sandi)

[asitis]

We get that you are hurting really, really badly, and that right now, you are imagining all sorts of bad things in your future, and they seem like certainties. They are not certainties, and how you will feel about those things in those future moments are not certainties.

So, you feel like you will never find love because you are introverted, and you'll be stuck working, and she will be having a great ol time with someone else. Let's talk those through.

First, you are introverted, but there are ways for introverts to meet people, more comfortable venues, and there are ways through counseling to work to mitigate some of your introversion.

Second, you don't know what your future economic situation is going to be. You don't seem to like your job and feel trapped. That is something you can work on and do something about. You also fear not having enough for retirement, but it that was on the assumption that you were supporting both you and your W. You may not be (and you still have a chance to save your M, btw - read the statements of hope at the beginning of DR & DB on 11th hour changes of heart) supporting both, which means you can maintain your standard of living on a lower retirement savings. If you do end up D'ed, who knows who you'll meet, and maybe they are better off than you.

Third, your W may find out that she is not happy and decides to give it a chance. Would you say, no way I'm not going to want you, I couldn't stand seeing you w/ someone else and having to learn the lesson. She may regret her decision for the rest of her life. She may change her mind before she goes down that path. You may find that after working through everything that your W wasn't the person you thought she was and the person she is, is no longer such a object of desire.

Again, if the suicidal thought continue, please call one of those numbers I listed.

Even if they don't you need to be seen by a psychiatrist for help getting through this so that you can see it when the shock of your situation has passed. You also need some IC to deal with why you feel so weak and dependent on this woman, why you think your life isn't worth living without her? You have a lot of issues that have come out in your last posts, but now is not the time to go through them. However, I do know that with some work on some of those issues, you will think and feel differently about your sitch.

Keep talking to someone. Us, the 800 number I posted, or a dependable friend or family member, or call 911 and get some medical relief during your moment of crisis.