Jim, I think that so much of that sounds like the build up of trials and tribulations of marriage and some communication that wasn't effective, assumptions being made, unmet expectations, pressures of family and so on. Some 'nice guy' stuff and I'm sure your W bought things to the table too.

For me it all adds up to - it isn't easy to have a good M! - there's a lot to learn and a lot to get wrong and to go wrong. It sounds to me as though there was some justification going on when your W was telling others you were controlling and so on..

My advice would be to learn what you can from it for your next R - whether that be reconciled with your W, or some other lucky woman - and keep moving forward. And remember the mantra - never lose hope. No matter how dark or how bleak things may seem. It is still relatively early days with your sitch and still volatile with OM in the picture. As time goes on, who knows what may happen.

I hope you had a nice 'Jim-centric' weekend xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus