Would it make you feel better if it was?! She is addicted to cybersex. Plain and simple as that. I told you it would be a matter of time before she would start meeting face to face. It starts with heavy flirting on line, then leads to the camera, then, well........use your imagination. As someone said, it accelerates. The men push to meet in person for the purpose of having sex. They may say things like "just meet to talk or have drinks" but their goal is sex.
Last, don't try to make excuses for her, and I see many men who actually want to believe a MLC is somehow making her do these awful acts, rather than to believe his W could be wayward.
Pretending to be a normal family, as though nothing at all has happened.......is exactly what you do NOT need to do. Look back at your previous post describing all she said about her feelings and what she wants. Not once was anything said about you! Her being caught will not change her addiction. She is grasping at anything she believes will work on you at the moment. Tears, talk of not knowing why she wants this, talk of seeing an IC, and etc., .......it's all smoke.
The only chance, IMO, is for her to believe you are dumping her. She will continue to put you through this hell as long as she can manipulate your brain. She has to believe you don't want her, are no longer attracted to her, and will do not want to be in the same room with her. I know many LBH'S are too afraid, but this is the time to switch the dynamics in this MR.
She has no intentions of stopping her cybersex. None! You would not listen when we tried to warn you what was going on. I hope you will listen now.
You don't feel more anger b/c you are in shock.
I want to execute a change in the dynamics. I want to set a clear boundary and make it known that I am finished. What are some ways to execute this?
My concern is that if I leave the family home I hurt my children immediately. I also create a defacto custody arrangement that a divorce court may decide to continue.
How do I get that message across without looking vindictive?
Me: 39 W: 38 T-18yrs M-13yrs 2 Girls: 10 & 3 EA BD 5/24/15 Separate Bedrooms 6/12/15 PA BD 7/3/15 Separate Residence 8/8/15
