I think I'm coming to the realization that it isn't so much the "injection" of love or even the quality, for me anyway. A big driving force of what made me want to ML earlier in our R was the need to ensure no other woman could compare to me. I wanted to be his absolute goddess. Before we exchanged vows, there was the chance that he could find someone else more attractive, more fun to be with, more sexual, more loving, more compatible. I strived to be his perfect match, a great catch. I was on my best behaviour, and so was he!

When you do something romantic, give gifts, help, listen, etc., are you doing these things with the same enthusiasm and confidence as you did before you committed to her? Just think back, and humour me for a sec. When you were dating, if you took her to a movie or dined out or even went to a party together... you might have been disappointed if the evening ended with "just" a kiss, but did her not "putting out" lessen your desire to pursue her? What made her worth the "pain" and challenge? I sure wish I could translate my thoughts as well as others here, perhaps it's because I'm interrupted every few minutes or so by my kids! You said, "I'm trying to really be exceedingly engaged in the relationship." Naturally, you're doing this because you want to improve your sexlife, but you need to focus on making her feel special. However, by special, I mean in the same way she was special when you were not committed. I'm getting there, but so slowly. I'm really sorry. My brain is mush today. Think back to the earlier times and see how you made her feel special without "losing yourself". What I mean is... there has to be a way that you can "romance" her and have her *want* to be your goddess again.

I give up. I'll see if I can answer you later!

Pam