Jim, I agree with V! It's interesting that your W sees things in that way. I had forgotten how she sees things in that regard, but now you say, I do recall that.

With the passage of time and given her perception and feedback, how do you feel about your behaviour and approach during the M? I recall your W felt you weren't there for her when her Dad died, and I can see she might find it hard to forgive that. What were the other 'worst' things she felt you did and didn't do? (feel free if you don't want to go there if it is painful or an unwanted avenue.)

As Mozza says, regardless of attracting back your W, do you feel happy within yourself that you have apologised and made amends for your part in the M dynamics?

Interesting what you say about being reluctant to post on the abuse thread. Perhaps that in itself may be a good reason to do just that. Remember Jim, you are among friends here.

Take care, T xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus