Recovery from cancer and separation

[asitis]

I'm glad you have a goal on doing the 5K. It really helped to get back in shape. I lifted weights before, and after my chemo, I was back to beginner weights and struggling to keep from vomiting. When I got back to body weight on squats, I knew I had crossed a major hurdle.

On detachment, one of the best things is to focus on you and GAL activities. Making yourself happy and healthy allows you to be less reactive to the things your W does and says.

Having a list of reminders like: I can't fix her, I can only fix myself; remember not to believe most of what she says and a lot of what she does [I don't like the 100% on what she says, as there is usually a nugget in there worth considering]; patience is the best predictor of success; often doing nothing is the best thing you can do; she is hurting, scared, and angry, so what she says is more about her than me; etc.

It just helps to remind yourself of these over and over and over. Re-read Sandi2's 37 rules regularly.

When you feel triggered by something your W does or says, come here and vent about it and get advice first.

And, just because it is so important, again, the focus needs to shift to yourself and figuring out what will make you happy outside of the M.

Good luck.