I am so sorry for your pain, lost. How did you interact with her when she came home from her "night out"? Did you confront her about what you know?
It's time to change your game plan just a bit, but first, take time to regroup. Today will not be the happiest of birthdays, but you may be able to prevent it becoming worse, First however, if you can tell us if she knows that you know it went PA.
Please do not engage in any R discussions at the moment. Get alone to regroup and so you can communicate with the board before doing anything else.
Confronted and admitted. The desk clerk called her when I asked directions to her room. So, she knows I know and called me on my way home. What followed was a tearful reckoning over 3 hours last night. She started very sad and contrite, willing to go NC with OM immediately, willing to go to MC with me on Thursday. But already in the light of day she is backing off that and saying that she wants to wait to decide on NC after talking to therapist.
I am very close to abandoning DBing. The level of deceit that she engaged in to get to that tryst, standing in that room... It was all so horrible.
I thought we had about a 20% shot before. Now it's about 2%. I welcome your advice.
Last, I feel for you. I have no idea whether my W is in a PA or not, but I can only imagine the hurt and sadness of encountering the clear evidence of a PA.
With that said, what exactly is your plan for dropping DBing? Even if you file for divorce right this second, it doesn't really change anything, right? Keep focusing on you. You'll come out ahead either way.
