I'm sorry that you've had some downers, but at least you got the frustration out of your system even if you have to patch the wall.

One of the hardest things to learn is not to have expectations. You are expecting him to be the man he once was. He's not that man at the moment, hence, the no contact at all. This is very typical of them and I certainly wouldn't mention it to him when he arrives home. Just go about your business and listen very closely to what he has to say, if he even talks to you.

I do hope that your 4th is better this evening.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.