I am so sorry for your pain, lost. How did you interact with her when she came home from her "night out"? Did you confront her about what you know?

It's time to change your game plan just a bit, but first, take time to regroup. Today will not be the happiest of birthdays, but you may be able to prevent it becoming worse, First however, if you can tell us if she knows that you know it went PA.

Please do not engage in any R discussions at the moment. Get alone to regroup and so you can communicate with the board before doing anything else.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!