Morning, Prowl, did you rest last night? I see your WW has played one of the favorite and most used cards......."The Contoll Card". That is where the WW accuses the H of always trying to control her. Her objective is to condition him to give over to whatever she wants now.

Quote:
She claims I am very controlling and have been our whole marriage


I would think it must be very difficult for a H/F at this stage where he has to mentally/emotionally shift gears in order to make these major decisions. He has trained himself to be the protector and provider for his family. His family is his focus and center of his life. He serves as an umbrella that covers his children, wife, as well as himself. When the WW chooses to leave the M, she walks away from the loving protection of the umbrella (the H). IMO, the H's decisions from that point forward are not required to place her wants first on his list. He has been fired as her H, so he does not have to protect and provide for her well being as if she were under the umbrella. His priorities are what is best for his children and himself. Not EVERYBODY, as he once was conditioned to think.

This may sound harsh to some, but the WW is harsh and will not hold back to get everything like she wants. Her solutions to any problem will have selfish motivation. She is not going to put the others first. Her best is what she's seeking throughout all of these decisions.

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She called me about an hour ago and now she wants to file a Chapter 7 instead of a Chapter 13. the difference being our credit gets cleaned up a lot quicker, She's under the impression that our house wont be taken from us because we have small children. But all of our other property, Cars, furniture, my business items (Photography equipment) will be taken. Of coarse her solution to that is to hide all of our property at friends homes. I'm so frustrated with her mind set of "throw it all away in the name of "ME" being happy." I sat through listening to how happy she is now and that she just wants this to all be over so she can find someone to create her happily ever after with. I just listened and validated... I just don't see any hope in this situation of a R.


Prowl, get professional advice!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!