well its been a few days since i last updated so i thought i would post an update about what was going on with me, and the answer is a bit of a not much really.
So XW update first: we had a school visit from D4s new school to my house for which my wife came round for. she was in my house for about an hour and didnt move from a rigid position on the sofa, wouldn't accept a drink even though it was 35 degrees (90s F) and didnt seem able/willing to engage in small talk about anything other than the kids - not even the weather and for a brit that's just weird
saw her again the next day when she came to collect D4, again no conversation. D4 was watching the last 2 minutes of a film and so i invited her to wait inside but she refused saying she wanted to wait on the doorstep as she 'isnt comfortable coming in'. she did complain that it was taking too long but if it was 5 minutes total then i'd be surprised. If I had to speculate its because she now associates this house with all her misery and it reminds her of how awful she felt everything was, but thats just speculation.
she has now booked a holiday with them for the end of summer, i resisted the urge to ask if OM1 is going, because he probably is and what difference does me worrying about it make? (rhetorical)
I'm sticking with being chatty and positive regardless of the reaction i get from her.
me update next. well things are ok, I've been able to start running again which has been good. I've been pretty busy with work and things are going well. I had a surprisingly positive performance review given how shocking my performance was between BD and christmas. my boss said something to the affect of 'you kept your head above water and didnt let anything important drop, given what was going on in your life i couldnt expect anything more'
it made me realise that actually at work i've had a lot of good support from a number of people (they all dislike my XW now). and to think before BD i was thinking of leaving - i didnt realise the good that i have there.
Socially things have dropped off as people all seem just busy doing other things. I could have gone to visit my brother this weekend but didnt feel like it so im home doing chores (like cutting hedges and sorting the junk in the garage).
I keep thinking about how best to move forward with my life, to give it some sense of purpose beyond work and my kids because although im ok, in truth it all feels a little flat. Which is stupid because although things arent as comfortable as they were my life is actually good in nearly every sense.
Mozza, you asked about dating, its a strange thing in that i want a relationship with someone but i really dont want to date. I went on a couple but it just seems too complicated and i was just comparing them to my XW which is never a good thing. I was also reminded how difficult i find it to read people and pick up on signals. I'll stay open to it but who knows what will happen.
I'm not sure where that leaves all this, I suspect it all comes accross like there is something wrong but there really isn't.
Anyway, have a good weekend all and Happy 4th July to all the americans on here, or BD as it was for us in the UK as the geopolitical LBS
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
