Controlling doesn't equal selfishness. It seems as if you're misinterpreting things.
Did you control how much she spent, where she went, what she would purchase, how she treated the kids, etc.?
BTW, much of what you post revolves around money and how great of a provider you are, etc. She's looking for someone to fill her emotional needs. Not just financial.
You hit the nail on the Head MrBond. I know I neglected her emotional needs the past couple of years. She has said this numerous times. What can I do to 180 that?
As for controlling yes and no... She flew all over the country going to concerts and being a groupie with all her other GFs from all over the country. I always encouraged her to do this. When it came to money she was and still is horrible at budgeting. A lot of our fights came from this. This fall when all hell broke lose and I began suspecting her of her A I made comments that would have been very controlling. She hadn't worked for nearly six weeks and didn't tell me. I learned after we started bouncing checks. I told her I wanted to start seeing her pay stubs.. I know, I know... 😞 then one night I discovered she was at a club instea of a wedding like she told me. Her friends tagged her on FB pics they had taken. I called her and after telling her I knew she was lying I demanded that she come home. I told her I was tired of her going out to bars and clubs instead of being home with her husband and kids. She brings both of these up a lot. In my defense I was freaking out and knew nothing about DB and had that feeling that she had already started her A.
Again please be gentle as I am learning and I am open to any and all advice.
BD Oct 2014 S Dec 2014 D filed Feb 20, 2015 D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air
