Mozza (13) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

Mediation report | The fourth and last session took place today. WW wanted to talk about relocating to her home country eventually and said that she was willing to stay here another five years, but not a full 15 (until D3 is 18 and roaming the world anyway). This was news to me that she was willing to stay that long. My take on it was that it's way too early to decide what we'll do in five years. The mediator was with me on this. I pointed that within the span of three years, we went from the birth of D3 to her moving out. I said that life was full of surprises, including this D in my case. I also said we had no idea how our situation would be in five years, including remarrying someone with a family here, maybe marrying someone from abroad, etc. I mentioned that five years ago, we were getting married and had only one kid, and five years prior, we had just met. I never made any mention that we might be R at some point; it seemed like pursuing. WW didn't get much out of this discussion because I only said I was aware of the difficulty of our situation and that things could evolve greatly over the years. Next step is to find a new lawyer that will translate our agreement into legal language to file for D.

PMA report | I'm getting bored again with my sitch. I feel much less affected by my encounters with WW. Part of me wants to be friendly because I just don't care much. In the discussion after the mediation, she made a big deal that I started cooking cake recently, as if she couldn't fit this with her image of me. Not sure why (been cooking for years, just not dessert). I slipped in there that I had regain the weight, but better (no direct mention of the gym). I told her a few fun things we've been doing with the kids. She also showed a bit of a competitive parenting side when I told her that I finally watched Frozen with D7 and D3, saying with regret that she meant to watch it with them. After we parted ways, I went on about my day as if nothing happened. I was not sad, I was just done with an unpleasant business of the day. Before the session though, I had cried at home because I'm facing the loss of my family once again. No such thing afterwards. The feeling is best described as "Oh well".

Have I given up on R? No. It's just not in the cards right now and everything tells me to focus on myself anyway, so that's what I do. I don't think I do anything to prevent R from happening eventually. I'm still very cordial.

Dating report | Not sure what to say. So much is happening on this front. I consider it to be mega-GAL (very absorbing) rather than proper relationship stuff, but I do feel enthusiastic about it oftentimes. It gives me some insight into the WAS mind, as I feel the pull of the new, the apparently simple. Yet, I'm still in the middle of D and quite early in therapy and do not consider myself M material for anyone. I'm not making promises to that effect. Maybe one day I'll take the time to share a bit more about what's happening, but I wonder if it's of interest or relevant for the LBS on this board. I'll just say for now that it's fascinating to see how fast things can evolve in nine months.

All will be fine in the end? I'm starting to believe it.
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RAI | You're right, I was very concerned by this mediation. I feel better now that it's behind me. Hopefully, the optimism with shine again!

Karma12 | Yes, tough times, but less tough every time. Phew!

Vanilla | I'm not sure I'm worthy of your appreciation, but I welcome it! I hope you're well, considering the painful situation in which you are. I'm glad you are on these boards, for you and for all of us, LBS. Consider me a fan too.