My thoughts

[RysinMn]

I hope that everyone plans on having a wonderful 4th; I have a very busy one planned myself. I figured that i would stop by and update you all on how things are going with me and the W and our Sep/Divorce and any thoughts i have going through my mind at this time. Yesterday I officially received my paperwork to move to North Carolina, to me it is both exciting and a little bit of anxiety. Once the move is complete i know that i will be in a better place complete my recovery, because no matter how much i have come to terms with knowing W is filing for D when i see her to still tugs at my heart. So actually being in a different state will really do me some good i believe. I know that i did not have to provide the info of my move to my W but i decided that i would just continue to be fluid and cordial since she requested to have a copy of all the information once i received my paperwork. We have been on rather good talking terms the past week or so, nothing too major has happened. She did make a subtle hint at wanting to have lunch with me but i just acted like i did not notice. Unless she comes out and asks me for something, I really do not think it is good for my progress to entertain any type of thinking other than what it takes to keep me on my path to total recovery and eventually happiness again!

From what i have noticed things seem to be unraveling for her and her plans. Early on She was 100% certain that this was the path she wanted; OM was Mr. Wonderful "her Soul Mate" but now from what i am seeing and what i have heard she has started to have a change of heart and now she is not sure of what she wants; or what life is going to hold for her. The worst part about all of this is the fact that all of this is "text book" at one point in time she had actually admitted that she read a book called ...and she told me it portrayed her relationship with OM to the T. But even that could not open her eyes from the fog that she was in. Now though it seems as if the fog is lifting, and she is stuck with the actions and decisions she has made and her pride.

I can say with 100% certainty that i know i will be ok. And once the D is finalized i feel i will be better for the time we had and i know, i have grown from this. Yes there are scars but there has also been growth. For that i am thankful. The one regret/Heartache i will have is leaving my dogs. They have been in my life for 8 years, they are like my children and for it to suddenly be over is going to be very tough to handle. Knowing that OM is the one that takes my place with them is even worse. Well these are my thoughts for the day. I can say that every day i wakeup is a great day and one more day past the pain and closer to healing.