I'm hopeful someone with more experience than I have will chime in.
But my opinion is that you shouldn't be trying to do family things with him or 1 on 1 things with him while he is an affair. You can't out-nice the A partner - you don't want to compete for your own boyfriend. I think as long as you know he is cheating on you, any positive affection you provide is only reinforcing the affair.
Your boyfriend is sleeping with another woman, and your goals are all set up to REWARD him for that behavior.
In my opinion, you should try structuring your goals around how to make YOU better. Instead of "I will help share the housework", you should be saying "I will take care of my responsibilities as a home owner." Instead of arranging something together with him, say that you'll take the kids on a new adventure every 2 or 3 weeks.
Again, this is just my opinion - take it for what it's worth.
Hello 4mykid,
First, let me say that I am sorry for the situation you are in.
I agree with Matt777. You need to focus on YOU and your kids. Why are you making it easier for him to continue this relationship when it is hurting you? DBing needs to be a full time proposition and you can start by focusing on what you have control over.
It would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our program at 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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