Little Cloud of Dust - PigPen & The WAW (3)

[PigPen]

Just got off the phone with the counselor regarding amends Wonka & V.

He advised me to write everything out beforehand, and then go through it a few more times and remove anything that is projecting, blaming, or not taking complete ownership myself. This is not a confession, and not an apology, but a time to take ownership for the pain and heartache that I caused.

Due to the fact that it's my W and not an employer or a neighbor who I stole from etc, he advised me to try to put myself in her shoes (I have), someone who has had to alter the very future they wanted at one point, and the gravity of that. I am to go through it a third time and make sure that I'm speaking directly to what I believe her negative experience was, the level that she must have felt betrayed, minimized, and how the lack of true intimacy must have left her feeling alone.

I get it, it's a big "censored" deal - and it's not about me.

He's going to pass the name of a couple on to me tomorrow after he speaks with them that have gone through this and are still together. That will be helpful as well.

Talking to my IC today was interesting too. He was telling me that in the case of addictions there's a splitting of the persona per say and that making amends is the bridging of two worlds - the secret world of addiction and the real world people that have been effected by it. He says that it's extremely hard, but very healing for both parities. I certainly hope so. I have learned so much in the last six months and one thing is clear - one life is more than I can handle. Never again will I try to lead two.