Thanks CaliGuy - that's why this place is so great - it allows perspective.
You are right, I am mindreading. Even if she says things re: divorce or live together for the kids, etc. - I guess it comes back to don't believe anything of what she says, and 50% of what she does.
Hadn't even considered the convo being a temp check. What direction is she checking? If I'm in or out? Did I handle is properly? I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Yes - I know consoling her for the loss of the OM - pathetic. I used the drinking as the excuse, but it was a choice - the wrong one. She does need to get to a spot where she wants to save the M, and she's definitely not there (yet).
Will continue to GAL and detach as best as I can.
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
so far ... you are there all to willing, so she can cake eat and play you all she wants at this point.
I decided, early in my separation, that my wife was my best friend....ever. I resolved to NEVER allow the separation to hinder my friendship with her. I acted, from the very beginning, as a friend. I helped her move out by moving all of her stuff downstairs to help her to save money with the moving people...
Is this the way to proceed (not that she's moving out, but the overall idea of the message) - as a friend while I GAL and detach? Or is this not applicable because my W is Wayward?
I know I feel desperate, needy, and ready to spring into action with fixes (though I'm trying not to show that to my W as best as I can). I realize this problem didn't occur overnight and any possible repair will take months upon months.
Waiting is hard. Waiting for her to get over the OM. Waiting for her (unjustified) anger at me to subside - for ruining her one true chance at happiness. Waiting for my next DB coaching session (a week from today). Of course this is a 3 day weekend - not that being at work helps.
Me: early 30s Her: same M: 5+yrs T:10+yrs D (2): under 10s OM PA - Began Apr/15 A Discovered/ILYBINILWY: Start of May Removed ring: End of June
