I'm hopeful someone with more experience than I have will chime in.
But my opinion is that you shouldn't be trying to do family things with him or 1 on 1 things with him while he is an affair. You can't out-nice the A partner - you don't want to compete for your own boyfriend. I think as long as you know he is cheating on you, any positive affection you provide is only reinforcing the affair.
Your boyfriend is sleeping with another woman, and your goals are all set up to REWARD him for that behavior.
In my opinion, you should try structuring your goals around how to make YOU better. Instead of "I will help share the housework", you should be saying "I will take care of my responsibilities as a home owner." Instead of arranging something together with him, say that you'll take the kids on a new adventure every 2 or 3 weeks.
Again, this is just my opinion - take it for what it's worth.
