New marriage already over -please help me :/

[theoden]

Aj8,

Sorry you are here.

Focusing on your wife, your grief, your loss, is not helping.

First, you need to realize, this may not be all about you. It may be about her own state of mind.

Second, you need to get a life of your own that positive, strong and worth living. She will not be attracted to you if you are pathetic, crying and miserable.

Third. Go talk to a lawyer IMMEDIATELY. Protect your rights. It doesn't look like you have a lot of property in common, but I think you need to get a consultation. If she wants a divorce, don't resist. Instead, know what you want and have your lawyer protect you. This will show some strength.

Fourth. Look at the Last Resort Technique.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/blog/how-to-prevent-a-divorce-the-last-resort-technique/

Fifth. If she "doesn't care", then you start to NOT CARE. Seek your own happiness right now.

Theoden

[Aj8]

True , still I want to be normal again not this emotional wreck who feels half his soul is missing ...baby steps forward

[Aj8]

Agree theoden, thing is she doesn't probably know how bad I am right now emotionally , she has no means of knowing she hasn't contacted me in the two weeks she left except cold text or two about me not being here when she pics up her stuff from the apartment .

[Matt777]

True , still I want to be normal again not this emotional wreck who feels half his soul is missing ...baby steps forward

It's not going to happen all at once.

What if I cut your arm off right now....you wouldn't say "I know I have no arm, but I want to throw a baseball" right?

You won't heal all at once. Focus on the positives and go slow.

[Aj8]

Thank you Matt, I'm doing my best to move forward . Haven't broke Down in tears today thus far. Big victory

[Elly4]

Hi Aj. It sounds like you have been trying to move forward. Maybe you could try, at the end of the day, writing down three things that lightened your heart, made you smile, or that you are appreciative of from that day. Maybe that would help you shift into a different perspective from misery to detachment?

I'm including you on my prayer list,
E

[Aj8]

I love that idea Eirinn! I'm going to do that! Thank you for your prayers , I'm blessed to have found you all on this board....finally people that can emphatize...today I broke down in tears once ...big step

[Upnorth]

Things will get better, someone told me not to try get through the whole day, just one minute at a time. It works. Stay busy!

[asitis]

And along with Eirinn's and upnorth's suggestions, try to look for little things you can appreciate through out. Actively look. Hey, look at that cool cloud. Wow, aren't kids the greatest?! I really appreciate X doing that for me. I really am glad I have X.

Evolutionarily we have a negativity bias (we are looking for the threats and dangers), and by the end of the day, we have actively worked to notice a whole lot of bad things that are possible threats. Countering that actively can be the difference between an average day seeming to be a bit on the plus side, or just another tough schlog.

Keep up the good work.

[Aj8]

Thanks all! Asitis, I actually now try to look at all the good things and be more positive , just so hard . Still baffled how she doesn't even want to talk to me , 7 years together and I'm nothing to her now , when last month I was the love of her life still