I'm not sure if it was one turning point, but I do remember getting to the point of wondering what 'I' was fearful of. True, all of the effect of the sitch on the kids had me caught up for months, and then I accepted there wasn't much I could do about that. Then, when looking at myself I wasn't sure what I was scared of...would I meet someone inthe future? Probably. love again? Probably. Have the companionship? Probably. I really had nothing too bad to worry about. I was upset about the sitch, was surviving, but knew at some point I'd be okay. I think then pushing myself to try and reach out and push myself to go beyond just 'waiting' is what did it and I saw that I could be happy and comfortable w/o WW.
Also, I accepted that WW was not the person I married and the 'light switch' was not going to just instantly switch, at that point, I saw how fractured her interactions were with me and knew that if there was an R, it would be in the time of years, not days, weeks or months. At that point I knew I wouldn't be able just to 'wait' for a change for that long.
In saying that, it's easier to look back and assess, but I don't think I realized I was progressing during the whole thing.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
