Just Fishin'

[mahhhty]

My mirror theory... I constantly think of the Gandi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." That is underlying the mirror theory, b/c it always seems (or I make it seem) that I get back something similar to what I put in.

So V... I read your response and decided to test immediately. My test was going to be to engage her an the next email chain and be pleasant and to try and keep it going. She wrote me an email on the 27th and I dropped right in. I would say that I accomplished what I wanted but that the test failed (as I was the last one to respond, asked her direct questions to which she did not respond in turn). More over the lack of response (and things that were said in previous emails), lead me to now be suspicious and angry. I didn't put it all together until after she neglected to respond.

She emailed to set up a date for her family to bring a trailer and get the W/D and some other things. Then she stated "I am going on a trip and had to amend the schedule for July." At the time I assumed a business trip and responded in kind, making small talk. She responded and then I sent the final response: "Perhaps it was just a phase. Hopefully he's over it. I get mixed messages from your Mom about your Dad. Is this something he should be doing? Clothes... I'm a little short on summer clothes and pjs. Where is work sending you anyway? Hopefully not Dallas or somewhere already too hot."

And she has not yet responded. During some reflection the non-response and the sentence about the trip lead me to believe it isn't for work. And therefore, she is forgoing another week with the kids for something or someone else. I really want to respond but that comes from a place of anger.

With all of that I think....
- Why does this bother me?
- If someone else is involved and I don't know at this point, what does that say about her? her family?
- She CHOOSE to give up 50% of her time with the kids. And she continually chooses to re-do the schedule which is putting the kids with me more than 50% of the time.
- She cares about HER.
- She is not the person I married. She does not care about me at all. She choose to walk away from me, instead of try to confront or stand with me.

To say the least G. Bulldog was right about the 6-9 month window, and the anger associated with it.