It means his is in MLC and his brain is going through uncomfortable and uncontrollable gyrations. Just let him wrestle, try to be non-reactive, listen, and validate. Keep your space and detach for your sanity.
On the boundary setting. The most you can ask for is do you intend to date or not. If they say yes, assume A will be forthcoming if not already. If they say no, it may or may not be forthcoming or already ongoing. See why everyone is giving you the, it doesn't really matter. The question is what will you do.
First, assume he is having an affair, so if you reconnect and begin having sex again, protect yourself.
Second, don't ask about his activities and whereabouts. He doesn't want a leash, he feels like you are constraining him/not letting him be who he can be, and he will resent and run that much faster if you try. So no more questions about As or OW.
Third, read & reread the detachment thread in Cadet's welcome post, as well as the other MLC resources. Then reread the detachment thread again.
Good luck, sorry you are here, and trust that you will not always feel this crappy.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
