Honestly I think it is under $2000 and with fees and such no more than $1500. If it comes to D I will get an accounting for it.
I have not talked to W or been on FB. I did receive a message from her that states:
"This job has had a tremendous impact on our family, I have not been a good W or mother to the children. I am sorry for not being home more, I want to change this."
Again nothing about the EA - I have not responded to this.
Just caught u p.. I too was wincing at you allowing the cake eat fest and hopefully you do see the trend here, your W needs to make you and you rM #1 priority .... the fact she feels comfy and can drop her job ... my ears perked up a bit .. look at this as more time she can hang with OM while you are at work because at this point ... you have no clue if the A is over or not, your W has not been fully transparent with you.
Bottom line, she has to respect you and your boundaries .. more importantly you need to hold those boundaries and not waiver. I can understand how the AA stuff is personal ... but the more you dig the deeper she is going to hide her secrets, she is better at hiding things than you are giving her credit for.
Honestly I think it is under $2000 and with fees and such no more than $1500. If it comes to D I will get an accounting for it.
I have not talked to W or been on FB. I did receive a message from her that states:
"This job has had a tremendous impact on our family, I have not been a good W or mother to the children. I am sorry for not being home more, I want to change this."
Again nothing about the EA - I have not responded to this.
Normally we advise "If it's not about the kids, and doesn't ask a question, no need to respond," but this is kind of serious to just blow off without acknowledging. You don't want to be a d*ck and appear rude.
I might just wait a couple hours and then say "Yeah, this has been very difficult on all of us." or something neutral like that.
Would it be wise to confront the W at the IC session I was thinking saying something like when you drink you do dumb things like text the OM and this upsets me? This last week she is acting like everything's ok wants to hang out, have sex and do more things together.
Wants to sweep it under the rug. Is it wise to draw the proverbial line in the sand?
"Would it be wise to confront the W at the IC session I was thinking saying something like when you drink you do dumb things like text the OM and this upsets me?"
Yes and no. Stick to the facts and don't say things like "dumb". Talk to her the way you would want to be spoken to. If you say that her actions are "dumb", she's going to hear it as you saying she's dumb. And that will shut her down pretty quick.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
To all the those who have read my thread and provided insight,
Thanks for the advice. I will stick to being treated the way I want to be treated when we meet with her IC. I am going to voice my concerns about her drinking (since that is why I am there) and working less and the new free time (drink/OM) she will have.
Here is a little funny story (or at least I thought it was), so W has off of work today and the kids are on vacation. I get up early and decide to go to work.
So I am at work and in our server room. I come back to my phone and there are 6 calls and 2 text from W. She is in a state of panic that I did not talk to her before I left this morning.
I just replied that everyone was asleep and that I wanted to get out of here earlier. Funny how W wants her privacy, but I am supposed to check in.
