couldn't help but notice the boundary re letting you know of ea/pa. I thought I had the same boundary but w finally admitted OM and that it had been going on over 12 mths. fwiw I don't believe the 12 months either. She admitted ea to him whilst in the same home but moved out soon after. I have no doubt she probably moved out to be with him. They will almost never keep to this type of boundary. That's not to say he won't as every sitch is different.......also depends where he is up to in the process.
Re staying at home with kids I can't really help you sorry. Most sitchs I have read involve them moving out esp where OM/OW are involved. But sure there will be examples somewhere that others can point you to.
Forever young has done well with his W still at home but no OP and no kids. Principles remain the same regardless, focus on your life and kids, giving them space to figure for themselves.
