seperated 4 months

[help67]

I also smoked (pot), been straight & sober for 9 months. It was a long time coming, I wanted to stop many times, but kept going back because I didn't do the work. When my w left, she was scared to meet and work on the agreement unless it was a public place, and wasn't sure if she could trust me with our d. I was never physically abusive, but I had anger issues and she didn' t know how I would react. I have always been a great dad, I now realize that was not the case, being drunk, emotionally absent, and everything that goes along with addiction. IC, meditation, and reading has gotten me to this point, and there is no going back.

My w, a couple of months ago said she believes I mean it now, the changes I am making, but it is not about look at me I am not going to be bad anymore, forgive me and come back. She said she wants to live for now, and not worry about the future. She said she will remain open, but cannot make promises, and doesnt know what the future holds.

So I have to keep progressing, be patient, and enjoy the time we spend together or interact. It's very hard as I finally understand what she has always understood, and want that deep emotional, intimate connection with her again, we did have it, but not for awhile now.

Also, my w has work to do herself. We both come from dysfunctional families, her much worse than mine. She was never good at setting boundaries, until she did when she left. This time apart was probably the only way for us to get better. Keep at it, and we will all get better.