Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[CaliGuy]

t33

Alot of things have happened ... are you the only one who has ever been wher eyou are? Nope ... That being said ... if you do not follw the advice, take some of the DB tools and actually USE them, then all you fear that will happen probably will

Hard hard times. Some mixed signals. Texted me briefly a couple times yesterday. Then at home, icy cold. I'm working on PMA and lovingly detaching. I feel like I did a good job last night.

Let her pout/mourn her long lost love ... the one that she knew deep down was wrong and would never amount to anything. Mickey Mouse died and its tragic ... let her be.

Today I'm a bit of a wreck. I know I know...detach...it's for me, not for her - but my god it's hard. Saw in her calendar she scheduled a tattoo consult for tomorrow. She's talked about wanting to get it for a while, but now she's fully moving forward and hasn't told me. I know - detach and let go.

Its ok to be a wreck .. we all have been there. Just DO NOT show that side to her. No woman is attracted to Eeyore. The tattoo ... let her do it, her body, her choice .... depending on what she gets it may be another mistake she will later regret. ... again ... nothing to do with you.

I realize this could take months and months to recover - if it can happen. I realize she's depressed - probably at losing the OM (if that's in fact where things are at). I realize at the moment I'm the source of taking away her one shot at true happiness. Still - it feels as though she's doing everything she can to distance and disconnect from me most of the time. But the mixed signals show her confusion.

I just shared in another thread, scientists say it takes 100 days of no contact/acts to break an addictive pattern. she is on day what .. 2-3? When and if she texts him .. reset this clock.

I'm working on GAL and going out with a friend tonight. Of course I don't want to - but I will.

I've been reading as much as I can on the board, but I'm not finding any comfort.

Anybody out there with similar near separation/marriage is over spewing wives that recovered? I could really use something positive.

No near separation here ... I have been separated for almost 2 years now. Guess what ... in the last 2 weeks I have slept with my wife 9 nights out of 13. I have had D thrown at me 3 times in 2 years, the last of which I was mere weeks away from being final with it all. my W had an A, refused to give it up and I assure you I was the number 1 enemy in her mind ..... not to say your situation is not bad ... but trust me others here have had it worse ... you are not alone.

Trust the advice you get ... read Sandis 37 every flippin day .. it has to sink in to that head of yours even though it may feel like you are doing the opposite of what you feel you should .... rather than run after her and hug her .. go out, do your thing ... your W really needs to have space (what she wanted right? Give it to her) and think about her life, what she wants .... she will not want you if you appear needy and weak.
You confronted OM, and OM did not fight for their 'love' so she is hurt ... blames you .. but deep down it confirms what she already knew .. the A was build on lies and deceit and would never make it.