Hard hard times. Some mixed signals. Texted me briefly a couple times yesterday. Then at home, icy cold. I'm working on PMA and lovingly detaching. I feel like I did a good job last night.
Today I'm a bit of a wreck. I know I know...detach...it's for me, not for her - but my god it's hard. Saw in her calendar she scheduled a tattoo consult for tomorrow. She's talked about wanting to get it for a while, but now she's fully moving forward and hasn't told me. I know - detach and let go.
I realize this could take months and months to recover - if it can happen. I realize she's depressed - probably at losing the OM (if that's in fact where things are at). I realize at the moment I'm the source of taking away her one shot at true happiness. Still - it feels as though she's doing everything she can to distance and disconnect from me most of the time. But the mixed signals show her confusion.
I'm working on GAL and going out with a friend tonight. Of course I don't want to - but I will.
I've been reading as much as I can on the board, but I'm not finding any comfort.
Anybody out there with similar near separation/marriage is over spewing wives that recovered? I could really use something positive.
If you look at Mozza's thread, it has links to success stories.
With respect to the distance, the way I think about it is like you're on a walk together but she's three steps ahead of you. What you want to do is just STOP WALKING. Of course, for the first bit, she IS going to get farther away. That's ok. What's not ok is stopping for a bit and then running after her. Or stopping and walking the other way. Our goal is to just stop walking and read a book or watch the clouds or something. The HOPE is that somedY, she will turn around and start walking back.
