WW/WAW Looking for advice from the pros (Sandi)

[Prowl]

I see how you CONVENIENTLY left this fact out of your story. This is HUGE. So you had an EA first, wanted to end your M (doesn't matter that you didn't, but you considered it) and now that your W wants to do it, you're condemning her?

Kettle meet pot.

It doesn't matter that your M might have been bad before. It doesn't excuse your A. AND the fact that you failed to mention any of this before shows your lack of taking responsibility.

Did the two of you go to C about it or did you just sweep it under the rug and blame her for "driving" you to the EA?

I came clean to her about everything and yes we did go to counseling. I told her every little detail that she asked for and she even contacted the OW for details. I never blamed her for "forcing" me into the life of someone else.

After I found out about all the men she had been talking to and seeing she said to me "You opened the door up for this 4 years ago". I have apologized profusely for my actions and I spent years after trying to make it right.

Am I condemning her? I sure am... I came to her about my feelings for someone else and I wanted to fix what was wrong in our marriage. She started seeing someone, very possibly brought them into our home and marital bed, convinced ME to leave the house so she could carry on with her A and then used the law to make sure I couldn't return to my home. A home I worked tirelessly for. She then didn't make house payments for 6 months during the S and has put us in a situation where we may lose our house and has absolutely destroyed our credit.

We saw a mediator at the very beginning of all of this and he said he could have us divorced in 6 weeks. All we had to do was share time in the marital home with the kids. That wasn't good enough for her. She was getting advice from a childhood friend, who is now an attorney, about getting me out of the house so she could file a protective order and get the upper hand. During this she assaulted me twice and I never laid a finger on her. The day after she filed the protection order she went on social media and posted a screen shot of her and her high school boyfriends conversation making fun of me and saying that I have "lost my mind" and how every man loses their mind after she leaves them. This is something my children saw.

So yes I am condemning her... It's one thing to want out of a marriage. It's another to blame me for her A's. destroy my credit, lose our home, destroy my reputation, laugh at my expense, and hurt my children. I felt horrible for having feelings for someone else and I tried to make it right. She decided to make it her personal vendetta to destroy me after she decided to step out of our marriage.