Hello from south of la la land

[Sotto]

Hi Ha, I would say nothing and continue to act 'as if.' I also wouldn't expect him to tell you if he starts (what you would call) an EA or a PA. In his MLC mind, if he began seeing someone else, he may see that as 'dating' or a 'new R' rather than an EA/PA.

Early on in my sitch, H suggested that we could get together as a family (he, SS and me.) I said no to that. I wasn't willing to spend time as a family when he was having a PA and I told him that. It may have 'harmed' my sitch in some way, IDK - but it was the right thing for me in terms of sanity. I might have spent that 'family' time hoping to attract him back. But here I am almost a year later and he says he is about to file for D. I must say, at this point, I truly don't regret having set clear boundaries with my H. He may not want us to be together just now - but he does tell me he loves and respects me.

So, I think in terms of boundaries, it is a case of keeping the focus on you. What can you live with? What won't you tolerate? What will maintain your wellness in a difficult situation? And act on this basis. You can't control what he does of course. But you can control how you are willing to interact with him given present circumstances.

Take care and good luck!