Question: at BD, my H asked to have apartment, see women and still come home for the kids. I said no. Days later I asked him to please let me know if he started PA or EA as a basic boundary. He said this was "all agreeable" to him.

Jack 3 Beans writes:
Until the MLC starts showing positive and real signs of coming back...boundaries and consquences hurt you and what you think you want more than they do them. You are pushing them and presuring them to assuage your own desires regarding them in a relationship role they have shown you...they currently do not want.


So now that I know this is MLC and I set this boundary long before he shows signs of coming out, what can I do about this? Did I create a situation that will make it harder for him to come back?

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced