2 Post - learning too slowly

[Last]

Clear evidence that I am my own worst enemy. Everything below is true. All of it. It's a real reality check from WW. I have made strides but I have more work to do. It is SO hard. Even this info is bad because it was an R talk, but at least useful and should be the last one for a while.

Insight from WW tonight(Her words):

(On why the flip from cuddly to cold overnight) Intimacy we had for past few weeks began to feel like it was intimacy for intimacy's sake.

We were intimate and then you went and pulled some snooping and it was a slap in the face, like our connecting didn't matter.

We were just playing like everything was ok because we were lonely, but what had changed?

Felt like you were shifting back to old habits. "Not being your own person"

Worried about investing again only to be hurt. "If I am going to start over, should I choose a better bet?"

Being around you makes me not want to be around you. Every interaction turns into a R talk or argument.

I am handling this better than you. I am alone too. I have lost my best friend too. I am holding it together and you are losing it periodically.

Your actions ruined the connection we had reestablished. You don't get to ruin the emotional connection and still have a physical one.

You never noticed me improving (during months of weight loss). You didn't compliment me, congratulate me, or encourage me. (this I did do but clearly not effectively if this is what she remembers)

If I would have just adhered to the principals I have already learned, I would have been so far ahead of where I am now. It is a battle against my own nature and insecurities and I am only now beginning to turn the tide. I pray it's not too late!!!